Are you giving away your power and freedom?
In the last thirteen plus years of my career as a transformational coach, I have come across a lot of people and worked with thousands of clients. This has made me realize many things. Throughout years of research, I have seen majority of people reacting to circumstances. Reacting to what people do or tell them. Reacting to favorable and unfavorable circumstances.
People generally react in place of responding. Reacting is not done consciously while responding is a conscious act. Responding means, consciously choosing how to act in certain situations. Reaction generally comes out from our subconscious patterns. And the results of this, is mostly undesirable or destructive.
I have seen hundreds and thousands of marriages, relationships between parents and children or relationships among siblings getting destroyed because of one person reacting on the other.
Once I came across a woman named Aruna (name changed). She was very much worried about her relationship with her husband. When she came in contact with me, she shared, “Sir, I’m having some issues in my married life lately. I’m a working woman, in the IT sector. Due to my work pressure, I cannot give much time to my family sometimes. And for this reason my husband shouts at me. I too argue back. Because I feel that why should I listen to him. If he’s earning , then I too am doing the same. It’s just causing more and more discords and creating an unhealthy environment at home. Besides affecting my work life as well. What shall I do?”
In this case, there was an argument because, one, Aruna’s husband reacted to her overworking sometimes. And two, Aruna reacted to her husband’s treatment. This could have been easily avoided if,
- The husband, instead of reacting aggressively, talked about his worries in a calm manner, and,
- Aruna could have explained why she was being unable to spend more time and how she could manage both.
This happens through response. Responding is where your true freedom and power lies. We have no control over the circumstances. Over the things that we experience. We can’t predict what will happen next. What we have control over, however, is how we respond. Let us not give away our freedom or power or privilege to create our own future through reaction, but instead operate through conscious responding.
Ways to respond appropriately is that whenever something happens, choose the proper response for the certain situation. But for responding responsibly, it is important that your mind is calm and peaceful while doing so.
Now you might ask how can we achieve this calm mind. This can be achieved through various ways.
- One way is through meditation.
- Spending some time alone in silence or introspecting.
- Attending spiritual Satsangas.
- You can take a pause before responding.
Anyhow, it is not a matter of one day, you’ll imbibe it after continuous practice. A whole process of Sadhana.
The whole point of this blog was to bring you all the way from unconscious reaction to responsible response. So, this is my request and also a suggestion that if you want to live a life of power and freedom, choose your response wisely. Don’t give away your freedom of conscious response.
Share your biggest takeaway from this. Also, if you feel this can benefit people, then do share it to the others as well. But before that, make sure to start at least trying to choose your own response.
I go into more depth about these topics in my various coaching programmes or Blissful Communicator Club.
Thank you very much!