In today’s world, the biggest problems in relationships are, apparently, arguments and misunderstandings that in turn may lead to separation and divorces. Sometimes also, to total communication breakdowns. But the matter of utmost concern is that, it is increasing at an alarming rate instead of decreasing.
Although, how many of us actually think of saving the breaking relationships, is a highly debatable fact. All we generally do is blame the other person for all of the problems. Rather than introspecting, we just keep finding faults in everyone.
Amit was very disturbed recently. He had been married to the woman he loved for 23 years now. They fought for their love and stuck to each other. But in the recent times they have been facing a lot of problems.
It was not like they didn’t love each other anymore. They did. But now the amount of fights and discords had increased by a large number. It also resulted into total communication breakdown which disturbed the environment of the family.
Their parents were worried and children couldn’t focus on studies. They were also not getting the best upbringing. Amit was just fed up.
He wanted to make things right. He wondered, “Why do we fight so much? Why are there so many problems? We both still love each other. I don’t want to get separated. What shall I do?”
Searching for answers, he got to know about the Blissful Communicator Club through a friend. He got interested and took my number. After a bit of thinking things over, he finally contacted me.
I asked Amit to meet me and soon a meeting was scheduled.
After brief introductions, Amit confessed his predicament. He said, “Sir, I have been married to my wife, Jyoti, for 23 years now. And I really love her. I don’t want to get separated. But recently, we’re facing a lot of problems. We’re having lots of fights and arguments. I want to save our relationship.
What shall I do?”
I asked him, “Do you know why there are discords in a relationship?”
Amit answered, “Ego?”
I said, “Well that is one reason, obviously. But apart from that there’s another reason. Do you want to know what?” Amit replied, “Yes sir, I do.” And thus I explained:
Whenever there’s a problem, we turn to the easiest solution. Namely, the blame game. We very easily say that it was the other person’s fault. Most of us, justify our actions because we believe that we’re right.
Not once do we even try to think that maybe we’re not that right from someone else’s perspective. After over a decade of rigorous and thorough research, and numerous training sessions it has come to light that this is not true in the entirety of the situation.
The biggest cause for discords or crumbling relationships are that we know the motive behind our actions or statements but we do not consciously try to understand their point of view. We look into the matter only from our side.
We make various assumptions and presumptions about other people. We prejudge their motives and put all blame on them. This causes a lot of discord for both the people involved.
Amit seemed to understand it bit by bit. He said, “Sir, is there a solution to this?” I replied:
Well, definitely there is. What is important, is to try to understand and look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Instead of giving them a wrong meaning, a wrong motive on our own.
We need to stop justifying our actions and giving their actions a disempowering meaning.
Otherwise, the stress and discord between us will keep increasing which will ultimately result in separation.
The solution is to develop an ability in ourselves to understand their point. In Blissful Communicator Club, tools are shared that help people understand other people’s perspectives. Applying which, relationships that have been strained for years and decades can actually be transformed within a matter of a few hours.
Amit realized that, arguments and misunderstandings in any relationship is never the fault of one person. It is important to look into matters from the perspective of other people involved. Only then can the problems be actually sorted.
He decided to join the Blissful Communicator Club and started taking full responsibility to transform his relationship, for the better. And as the days went on, after attending the classes one by one, he could feel the changes in his relationship. It started shifting towards positive. The fights have decreased a lot and they gained more peace and harmony. Their family life also shifted for the best.
You can start your journey towards a Happy, Peaceful and Harmonious relationship by enhancing your listening Skills today by attending the 5 days SunoAurSamjho challenge.