If‌ ‌you‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌have‌ ‌great‌ ‌relationships,‌ ‌one‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌keys‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌start‌ ‌relating‌ ‌to‌ people‌ ‌in‌ ‌an‌ ‌empowering‌ ‌way‌.‌‌

What‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌relationship?‌
A‌ ‌relationship‌ ‌is‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌but‌ ‌being‌ ‌related.‌ ‌How‌ ‌you‌ ‌relate‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌person.‌‌
How‌ ‌you‌ ‌feel‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌person.‌ ‌How‌ ‌you‌ ‌connect‌ ‌with‌ ‌that‌ ‌person.‌‌
If‌ ‌you‌ ‌relate‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌person‌ ‌as,‌ ‌‘stupid’,‌ ‌‘idiot’‌ ‌or‌ ‌‘worthless’‌ ‌,‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌‌definitely‌ ‌not‌ ‌have‌ ‌great‌ ‌communication‌ ‌with‌ ‌them.‌ ‌Your‌ ‌communication‌ ‌will‌ ‌fail,‌‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌desired‌ ‌result‌ ‌will‌ ‌not‌ ‌be‌ ‌achieved.‌
This‌ ‌is‌ ‌because‌ ‌nobody‌ ‌likes‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌related‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌disempowering‌ ‌way.‌ ‌Instead,‌ ‌if‌‌you‌ ‌relate‌ ‌to‌ ‌someone‌ ‌from‌ ‌their‌ ‌potential‌ ‌by‌ ‌saying:‌ ‌“you‌ ‌are‌ ‌very‌ ‌important”‌ ‌or‌‌“you‌ ‌are‌ ‌intelligent”,‌ ‌which ‌establishes‌ ‌better‌ ‌communication.‌
When‌ ‌you‌ ‌start‌ ‌relating‌ ‌to‌ ‌people‌ ‌from‌ ‌greatness,‌ ‌it‌ ‌makes‌ ‌your‌ ‌communication‌‌land‌ ‌differently‌ ‌to‌ ‌them.‌ ‌This‌ ‌will‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌ ‌much‌ ‌better‌ ‌impact‌ ‌on‌ ‌them‌ ‌too.‌
So,‌ ‌if‌ ‌you‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌ ‌great‌ ‌relationship,‌ ‌one‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌keys‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌start‌ ‌relating‌ ‌to‌‌them‌ ‌in‌ ‌an‌ ‌empowering‌ ‌way.‌ ‌The‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌this‌ ‌is‌ ‌by‌ ‌relating‌ ‌people‌ ‌to‌ ‌their‌‌potential,‌ ‌by‌ ‌relating‌ ‌them‌ ‌to‌ ‌what‌ ‌they‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌rather‌ ‌than‌ ‌by‌ ‌what‌ ‌they‌ ‌have‌‌been.‌‌‌
‌A‌ ‌FEW‌ ‌EXAMPLES:‌
My‌ ‌son,‌ ‌I‌ ‌found‌ ‌out‌ ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌talking‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌elders‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌way‌ ‌that‌ ‌was‌ ‌not‌‌pleasing.‌ ‌So,‌ ‌I‌ ‌feel‌ ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌has‌ ‌become‌ ‌irresponsible‌ ‌and‌ ‌rude.‌ ‌As‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌thinking‌‌these‌ ‌thoughts,‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌relating‌ ‌to‌ ‌him‌ ‌as‌ ‌‘rude’,‌ ‌‘misbehaved’‌ ‌, and‌ ‌‘irresponsible’.‌‌When‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌correct‌ ‌him‌ ‌from‌ ‌that‌ ‌perspective,‌ ‌my‌ ‌communication‌ ‌would‌‌fail.‌
Later‌ ‌on‌, ‌when‌ ‌I‌ ‌pondered‌ ‌over‌ ‌it,‌ ‌I‌ ‌realized ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌express‌ ‌himself‌‌and‌ ‌wanted‌ ‌the‌ ‌freedom‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌himself.‌ ‌So,‌ ‌when‌ ‌I‌ ‌started‌ ‌relating‌ ‌to‌ ‌him‌ ‌in‌ ‌that‌‌way,‌ ‌my‌ ‌conversation‌ ‌landed‌ ‌much‌ ‌better‌ ‌, and‌ ‌the‌ ‌end‌ ‌result‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌conversation‌‌was‌ ‌much‌ ‌better.‌

Similarly, there was a time when a female client of mine told me that her husband doesn’t have emotions and he doesn’t take care of their family. Now, the way she related to her husband by saying,” he doesn’t have emotions.” Would not create any positive conversations or relationships. 

 

In Spite of me asking her to change the way in which she was relating to her husband, she refused to change her perspective and was constantly insisting “No, my husband is emotionless.” 

Since she was relating to him in such a disempowering way, her relationship got further strained and now it became difficult for them to even communicate with each other.

‌‌
(This‌ ‌could‌ ‌be‌ ‌averted‌ ‌if‌ ‌she‌ ‌had‌ ‌changed‌ ‌her‌ ‌perspective‌ ‌about‌ ‌her‌ ‌husband‌‌into‌ ‌something‌ ‌empowering)‌‌

There was a time when I was having a strained relationship with my spouse, and I used to think that she was always complaining, finding faults, being negative, and was not taking responsibility. 

 

So as long as I was relating to her like this, our communication was failing. But, when I changed the way in which I was relating to her and realised that she wasn’t being negative.

But, she was just worried and concerned about the future which was being expressed in the way of her communication. (When I started relating to her in an empowering way is when our communication and our relationship improved.)

 

So, if you want to have a great relationship, one of the keys is to start relating to them in an empowering way. The way to do this is by relating people to their potential, by relating them to what they can be rather than by what they have been. 

 

-Jitendra‌ ‌Gupta‌‌
(Spiritual‌ ‌Millionaire‌ ‌Explorer‌ ‌&‌ ‌Coach).‌‌
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